Behind Bars: Have a friend in prison? They’d love to get a letter from you
My cellie’s dad comes to visit him every month. He drives 12 hours from Arizona and stays overnight nearby so he can see his son two days in a row. My cellie is currently serving a sentence for life without possibility of parole for murder. On one of the visits he asked his dad, “Why do you come?” To which his father replied, “Because I love you.”
As far as I can tell, prisoners’ crimes have little to do with whether or not they have “support” from the outside world. In prison, things like letters, phone calls, visits, and financial assistance all fall under the umbrella of support. I wouldn’t say a complete absence of support is prevalent, but it’s not as rare as it ought to be. There are cases where prisoners have burned every bridge they’ve ever come across, and have often been in and out of prison over and over again. There are a very few prisoners who have been in and out who have a ton of support, where coming to prison is just an accepted consequence to their lifestyle. But I reiterate that would be the exception.
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The opposite of that would be the “tough love” situation. That’s part of something I’ve mentioned before, but one of the first assumptions when a prisoner says they have no support whatsoever is they come from a “really Mormon family.” I mention it because that’s just how it is, though it is quite the paradox. At the same time, families have in essence disowned one of their members, the Mormon Church provides more services and lends more support to prisoners than any other group.
Another very common explanation prisoners give for a lack of support is that their loved ones are on drugs. This excuse is usually met with a little compassion and understanding. Many of us can understand firsthand how any give and not take relationship would be just about impossible under those circumstances. If you didn’t know, drugs bring out the worst in people and tend to make the user selfish.
The expression, “This is when you find out who your friends really are,” is used for many down-and-out situations, but one I’ve heard over and over in prison. Most inmates have lost friends or at least contact with them. I’d say it’s somewhat rare for a prisoner’s support to come from anyone besides a parent, sibling, or girlfriend. I’ve heard prisoners described as the forgotten members of society, and while I think that was coined as a political point, it applies to friends. It’s no coincidence I had a lot more friends when I had my freedom. That’s just human nature.
While I can’t personally claim to be a forgotten member of society, as I have a unique opportunity to be a voice, I do feel an onus to use my voice on their behalf. With that said, if you have a friend who is in prison they would love to get a letter from you. That person is still accessible though it might not be in the digital world you are all used to.
I’m told the amount of support a prisoner receives and their connection to the outside world is often a good indicator for the prisoner’s chance to be successful in the outside world. Perhaps you can make a difference. I believe the Board of Pardons and Parole recognizes this because of something I’ve witnessed. I can’t explain it any other way and there’s no way to be sure, but it seems a good show of support by loved ones simply by showing up to a prisoner’s parole hearing, has a significant effect on a prisoner’s sentence.
Just for the record, I hold no ill-will towards anyone I once knew and want to be clear that in no way are my observations about anyone connected to me. I am one of the lucky ones. I have friends and family that lend support, some of them I knew before prison, and some of them I’ve met along the way. I wanted to say thanks to everyone who has been there for me while I’ve been “down”-and-out. And a special thanks to a friend who visit regularly, Mom, Bill and Maggie.
As always, please feel free to contact me for any reason. Letters are always appreciated. Brian Wood, 217764 CUCF, P.O.Box 550, Gunnison, UT 84634.
Brian Wood, formerly of Layton, is an inmate at the Utah Correctional Facility in Gunnison. He pleaded guilty to nine felony charges for offenses from 2011 to 2014, including counts of burglary, drug possession and prescription fraud. He could spend up to 35 years in prison, depending on parole hearings.