Mother, son, thankful for support a year after Bear Lake boat tragedy
Kathy Capener and her son, Jacob, talk about how their lives have changed since their family was devastated by a boating accident on Bear Lake the year before. Kathy's husband, Lance, and two daughters, Kelsey and Kilee, died when their boat overturned on June 1, 2015. Kathy and Jacob have moved into a new home after it became too difficult to return to the family's Pleasant View home.
Kathy Capener discusses the upcoming anniversary of the death of her husband and daughters at her Ogden home on Tuesday, May 31, 2016. Calener says she hopes to eventually make the anniversary a community event and time for positivity. However, she'll be spending the first anniversary quietly with her family.
Kathy Capener and her son, Jacob, talk about how their lives have changed since their family was devastated by a boating accident on Bear Lake the year before. Kathy's husband, Lance, and two daughters, Kelsey and Kilee, died when their boat overturned on June 1, 2015. Kathy and Jacob have moved into a new home after it became too difficult to return to the family's Pleasant View home.
Friends of Kilee and Kelsey Capener release balloons following the funeral of the young sisters and their father, Lance in Pleasant View on Friday, June 12, 2015. The Capeners died during a boating accident on Bear Lake on June 1.
OGDEN — A year after losing her husband and two daughters in a tragic accident, Kathy Capener said she is honoring them by living her life as best she can.
“It wouldn’t be in keeping with how they lived their lives to let your love for them destroy you,” Capener, 43, said on the eve of the anniversary of a storm that led to a boat her family and some friends were in to capsize on Bear Lake.
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The Pleasant View family and friends were out on Bear Lake when sometime before 6 p.m. June 1, 2015, high winds capsized their ski boat as they traveled from North Beach in Idaho to the Bear Lake State Park Marina in Utah. Dr. Lance Capener, 45, 13-year-old Kelsey Capener, 7-year-old Kilee Capener and 13-year-old Siera Hadley all died.
Capener said on this anniversary, she wishes to thank all who have come to her rescue in the wake of the accident and who have not stopped helping her and her son, Jacob, 18, a year later.
“There have been so many people who have come to our aid,” she said. “We will spend our lives trying to repay what they have done for us.”
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Capener said when every birthday or special occasion has come, she’s gotten so many calls and messages from those who care that she hasn’t even been able to return them all.
Her home is filled with gifts she’s received from many friends, some of whom were just acquaintances before she found herself in need of much support.
Dance teams her daughters performed with have performed special numbers in honor of the daughters. There have been special fundraisers in their honor, including trees at the Festival of Trees. Capener and Jacob have been invited to service projects with Anything for a Friend, which serves people with terminal illnesses.
Special acts of kindness were orchestrated in the community on the birthdays of the deceased.
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Capener said her belief in people has grown many times over.
Mostly, she said, she’s thankful for “all the people that dared to talk” to her and her son.
She said it’s been hard to watch those who don’t dare to speak to them. “You can see it on their faces,” she said. “They don’t know what to say.”
But she said those who do speak don’t let such worries get to them.
“I still don’t know what to say when people have tragedy,” she said, “just letting them know that you care, that you are there for them.”
Now that she’s had some time to heal, Capener said she’s determined to turn the tragic events of that day into something positive.
While this year she wants the anniversary to go by quietly, she hopes to have a special event on the anniversary in the future.
“I want to think really hard over the next year and make June 1 something special every year,” she said. “I want to find a way to pay tribute to them.”
BENJAMIN ZACK/Standard-Examiner
An old family vacation photo sits over the hearth of Kathy and Jacob Capener’s new Ogden home on Tuesday, May 31, 2016.
She believes honoring her loved ones will be healing. Even now, she said she has days that she doesn’t want to get out of bed.
But she’s been blessed with a part-time job at Lincoln Elementary School, where she worked through the school year as an office assistant.
She said the job gave her a reason to get up every day and get going. After work, she said she was able to accomplish tasks that needed to be done in her life.
“Being pro-active on those hard days is really the key,” she said.
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Jacob also expressed his gratitude for support and growth.
“When you lose somebody, you appreciate that life is short,” Jacob said. “I should live mine, make it meaningful. Maybe help someone in the process.”
Jacob plans to pursue a degree in science, medicine or psychology at the University of Utah in the fall.
“He’s got a lot of his dad in him,” Capener said of Jacob. “He diagnosed himself with appendicitis last July.”
Capener said she believes her son will accomplish great things as a result of the tragedy.
“He’s got a lot of compassion,” Capener said. “I can’t want to see what he does with it.”
The mother and son said they couldn’t bear to move back into their Pleasant View home following the accident.
“I go over there and it’s just a life that ended,” Capener said. Another family now is moving into that house until such time as the two may want to return.
Now, the two are living next door to Capener’s mother.
“It’s been nice to know that family is right there if you need it,” she said.
Capener said she has this advice for others who find themselves in similar situations: “Just keep trying and don’t give up,” she said. “It does get better. You’ll find new reasons to live.”
But she said she doesn’t expect the pain to ever be completely gone.
“I don’t think we even want to stop hurting because it’s part of loving them.” she said.
You may reach reporter JaNae Francis at 801-625-4228. Follow her on Twitter at @JaNaeFrancisSE or like her on Facebook.