“I’m not living in that fugly house,” my then-15-year-old daughter exclaimed after touring the home I had just put under contract for myself. This would be the first home that I would own alone. I was a new single mom and wanted to assert my independence while providing a comfortable home for my three children for the remainder of their childhoods. I did not ask anyone’s opinion or permission before making an offer.

“Well, that’s unfortunate, sweetheart,” I replied, “because this is the home we are going to be living in.” She stomped off and left to wait in the car. She would show me.

I did purchase the home, and we ended up living there for the next six years. I get it though. Moving is a significant decision, and it can be emotional for everyone regardless of the reason. As stressful as it can be for the adults, it is also as much or more so for the kids. Throw other factors in there, such as divorce, job changes and raging teenage hormones, and things can feel fairly overwhelming. As adults, we are better equipped to deal with such emotions, but many times, children are not.

A home is far more than just a structure, especially for children. This is a place that represents stability, familiarity and memories. Even if the move is in the best interest of the child(ren), such as a better school, more financial opportunities for the family, or clearer air and more outdoor space, it is still difficult for a child to see these long-term benefits with the more microscopic vision they tend to have. Even children who may seem unattached to the home or tend to be less sentimental may still feel a sense of loss, even if they feign otherwise. It is for this reason that it may be helpful to be aware and take their feelings into consideration.

This is not to say that the decision does not ultimately belong to the adults. It emphatically does. As adults, we do tend to know what is best for our children, ourselves and our situations, and we need to go forward with those decisions. On more than one occasion I have shown a home to a client who was initially excited and interested in the home, only to have their kid come through and kill the deal because it is “un-snatched,” “hideous” or “cringy.” It is not their money, their credit or their hard work that has made a home purchase possible; therefore, it is not their decision, either.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the adolescent brain is still actively developing, with significant changes occurring in the frontal lobe — specifically, the area responsible for decision making and impulse control. Go figure. At a time when kids are making some of the most important decisions in life, their brains go on hiatus. However, the NIMH has also found that the teenage brain is incredibly resilient.

So go ahead and make the move. Your kids will be fine. Offer empathy, understanding and open communication. Allow them some time to process the idea. But don’t give in to the 2-year-old temper tantrum that many teens can display about unwanted circumstances or change. I’ve sat through more than my fair share of them, as most parents have.

We did move into the “fugly” house. I had my daughters “help” me pick out new paint colors and flooring to give them a sense of belonging and ownership. The house became a place of contentment, enjoyment and memories, both joyful and difficult, for all of us. And then we moved again …

Jen Fischer is an associate broker and Realtor. She can be reached at 801-645-2134 or jen@jen-fischer.com.