Photo supplied, Intellectual Reserve

I’ll admit, when a speaker at general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints makes it clear at the beginning of their remarks that I am not their target audience, it’s not always easy to focus so much on the talk.

But when I actually listen, I realize that the counsel being shared is still extremely helpful for me.

Such was the case when I listened to the words shared by Primary General President Susan H. Porter at general conference in April. President Porter said she was responding to “an impression to speak to children.”

President Porter’s message was centered on prayer, which she prefaced by speaking of the relationship we all have with God.

“Our Heavenly Father loves you,” she said. “You are his child. He knows you. He wants to bless you. I pray with all my heart that you will feel his love.”

Ryan Comer, Standard-Examiner

President Porter called prayer a gift from Heavenly Father that is meant to help us. She called it a blessing and said we can talk to Heavenly Father whenever and wherever we want. She cited Jesus’ promise of “Ask, and ye shall receive.” (John 16:24; 3 Nephi 27:29)

Speaking about what we can pray for, President Porter cited three things: “pray to know,” “pray to grow” and “pray to show.”

PRAY TO KNOW

Said President Porter:

“What do you need to know?

“There is a song about prayer that primary children sing all over the world. It starts with a question. Do you know what song it is? If I were really brave, I would sing it to you.

“‘Heavenly Father, are you really there? And do you hear and answer ev’ry child’s prayer?’

“How can you know that Heavenly Father is really there, even when you can’t see him?

“President Russell M. Nelson has invited you to ‘pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father. … And then listen!’ Listen to what you feel in your heart and to thoughts that come to your mind. (Doctrine and Covenants 11:13)

“Heavenly Father has a glorified body of flesh and bones and is the father of your spirit. Because Heavenly Father has all power and knows all things, he can see all his children (Moses 1:6-8, 27-29, 35) and can hear and answer every prayer. You can come to know for yourself that he is there and that he loves you.

“When you know that Heavenly Father is real and that he loves you, you can live with courage and hope. ‘Pray, he is there; speak, he is list’ning.'”

“Have you ever felt alone? One day when our granddaughter Ashley was 6 years old, she was the only one without a friend to play with on the school playground. As she stood there, feeling unimportant and unseen, a specific thought came into her mind: ‘Wait! I’m not alone! I have Christ!’ Ashley knelt down right in the middle of the playground, folded her arms and prayed to Heavenly Father. The moment she opened her eyes, a girl her age was standing there asking her if she wanted to play. Ashley came to know, ‘We are important to the Lord, and we are never truly alone.'”

One of my favorite truths is that we are not left on our own to decide arbitrarily if God exists, who he is exactly and what that means for us. He does exist, he is our Heavenly Father, he does hear and answer our prayers and he does love us. We can know this through prayer. We can have spiritual impressions that make it as obvious to us as the fact that we ourselves exist.

President Porter continued:

“Sometimes you may want to know why something hard is happening in your life or why you didn’t receive a blessing you prayed for. Often the best question to ask Heavenly Father is not why but what.

“Do you remember when Nephi and his family were hungry while they were traveling in the wilderness? When Nephi and his brothers went to hunt for food, Nephi broke his bow. But he didn’t ask why.

“Nephi made a new bow and asked his father, Lehi, where he could go to get food. Lehi prayed, and the Lord showed them where Nephi could go. (1 Nephi 16:18, 23-24) Heavenly Father will guide you when you ask him what you can do and what you can learn.”

It goes without saying that this is extremely hard. We want to know why certain trials are happening to us. Why do I have to go through this when other people don’t? Why do I have to go through this when I feel like I’m doing a lot of things right? But these questions make it sound like trials are punishments when, in fact, they are learning opportunities. When we ask why, we frame ourselves, intentionally or unintentionally, as a victim, as someone being unfairly acted upon. When we instead ask what we can do or learn, we show our humility and willingness to do or learn what Heavenly Father wants us to.

Brad Wilcox, first counselor in the Young Men General Presidency of the church, once said “we are learning heaven.” If that’s the case, and I know that it is, then trials that we go through in this life are meant to prepare us for that reality. So instead of lamenting the trials that we have because of how difficult they are, we should be looking optimistically toward the future and thinking, “OK, what does Heavenly Father want me to learn from this trial that is necessary for me to learn heaven?”

PRAY TO GROW

“Heavenly Father wants to help you grow,” President Porter said. “He loves us so much that he sent his son, Jesus Christ, to show us the way to live. (John 3:16-17) Jesus suffered, died and was resurrected so we can be forgiven of our sins and grow to become more like him.

“Do you want to grow in patience or in honesty? Do you want to grow in a skill? Maybe you are shy and want to grow in courage. ‘Pray, he is there.’ Through his spirit, your heart can change, and you can receive strength.

“My new friend Jonah wrote: ‘I often feel nervous on my way to school in the morning. I worry about things like being late, forgetting something and taking tests. When I was 10, I started saying prayers on my drive to school with my mom. I ask for the help I need, and I pray for my family too. I also think of the things I’m grateful for. [Praying to Heavenly Father has] helped me. Sometimes I don’t feel the relief right as I get out of the car, but by the time I’m at my classroom, I feel peaceful.’

“Jonah’s faith is growing as he prays every day and then moves forward.”

How do we want to grow so that we become closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ? However we want to, we can, because we know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ want us to grow.

In pleading with those with various life circumstances to remain in the church, Jeffrey R. Holland, current acting president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, once said:

“With divine imperatives of love and faith, repentance and compassion, honesty and forgiveness, there is room in this choir for all who wish to be there. ‘Come as you are,’ a loving father says to each of us, but he adds, ‘Don’t plan to stay as you are.’ We smile and remember that God is determined to make of us more than we thought we could be.”

God wants us to grow.

PRAY TO SHOW

Continued President Porter:

“You can pray for help to show Heavenly Father’s love to others. (John 13:34-35) Through his spirit, Heavenly Father will help you notice someone who is sad so you can comfort them. He can help you show his love by forgiving someone. He can give you courage to serve someone and share with them that they are a child of God. You can help others come to know and love Jesus and Heavenly Father as you do. (Alma 20:26-27)

“For my whole life I prayed that my father would become a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Even as a young girl, I knew how many blessings he could receive. Our family could receive the blessings of being sealed for eternity. My family, friends and I prayed often for him, but he didn’t join the church. Heavenly Father does not force anyone to make a choice. (2 Nephi 2:27; Helaman 14:30) He can send us answers to our prayers in other ways.

“When I was old enough, I received my patriarchal blessing. In the blessing, the patriarch told me the best thing I could do to help my family be together in heaven was to be an example of the gospel of Jesus Christ. That’s what I could do.

“My father lived to be 86. Five days after he died, I received a sacred feeling of joy. Heavenly Father let me know through his spirit that my father wanted to receive the blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I will never forget the day I knelt around the altar in the temple with my sister and brothers to be sealed to my parents. I had started praying for this blessing when I was in primary, and I received it when I was a grandmother.

“Perhaps you are praying for blessings for your family and others you love. Don’t give up. Heavenly Father will show you what you can do.

“Share with Heavenly Father what is in your heart. (Mosiah 24:12; Alma 37:37) As you sincerely ask for his help, you will receive his spirit to guide you. (Doctrine and Covenants 19:38) Praying every day will fill you with love for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. This will help you want to follow them your whole life.

“Imagine what would happen if all the children in Africa, South America, Asia, Europe, North America and Australia prayed every day. The whole world would be blessed with more of God’s love.”

One of my favorite examples of this principle about Heavenly Father showing us what we need to do was told by President Nelson during a general conference address in April 2003 titled “Sweet Power of Prayer.” In his address, he discussed an experience with a stake patriarch from southern Utah.

“I first met him in my medical office more than 40 years ago, during the early pioneering days of surgery of the heart,” President Nelson said. “This saintly soul suffered much because of a failing heart. He pleaded for help, thinking that his condition resulted from a damaged but repairable valve in his heart.

“Extensive evaluation revealed that he had two faulty valves. While one could be helped surgically, the other could not. Thus, an operation was not advised. He received this news with deep disappointment.

“Subsequent visits ended with the same advice. Finally, in desperation, he spoke to me with considerable emotion: ‘Dr. Nelson, I have prayed for help and have been directed to you. The Lord will not reveal to me how to repair that second valve, but he can reveal it to you. Your mind is so prepared. If you will operate upon me, the Lord will make it known to you what to do. Please perform the operation that I need, and pray for the help that you need.’

“His great faith had a profound effect upon me. How could I turn him away again? Following a fervent prayer together, I agreed to try. In preparing for that fateful day, I prayed over and over again, but still did not know what to do for his leaking tricuspid valve. Even as the operation commenced, my assistant asked, ‘What are you going to do for that?’

“I said, ‘I do not know.’

“We began the operation. After relieving the obstruction of the first valve, we exposed the second valve. We found it to be intact but so badly dilated that it could no longer function as it should. While examining this valve, a message was distinctly impressed upon my mind: Reduce the circumference of the ring. I announced that message to my assistant. ‘The valve tissue will be sufficient if we can effectively reduce the ring toward its normal size.’

“But how? We could not apply a belt as one would use to tighten the waist of oversized trousers. We could not squeeze with a strap as one would cinch a saddle on a horse. Then a picture came vividly to my mind, showing how stitches could be placed — to make a pleat here and a tuck there — to accomplish the desired objective. I still remember that mental image — complete with dotted lines where sutures should be placed. The repair was completed as diagrammed in my mind. We tested the valve and found the leak to be reduced remarkably. My assistant said, ‘It’s a miracle.’

“I responded, ‘It’s an answer to prayer.’

“The patient’s recovery was rapid and his relief gratifying. Not only was he helped in a marvelous way, but surgical help for other people with similar problems had become a possibility. I take no credit. Praise goes to this faithful patriarch and to God, who answered our prayers. This faithful man lived for many more years and has since gone to his eternal glory.”

I have not had an experience that would be considered so miraculous, but I have had experiences in my life where I have felt the spirit telling me exactly what I needed to do in a certain situation to be successful. It has felt very much in those moments like the Lord was showing me specific steps that I needed to take, and I know that there is no other way those steps could have been put into my mind. From these experiences, I have learned two important truths: There is a God, and he clearly cares about my life and helping me be successful.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking of prayer as some obligatory ritual, if you even give it that much praise. Sometimes, if we are not careful, we can treat prayer like we treat a hobby. If we have time for it, great. If not, well, maybe another time. But there are tangible benefits to being in constant communication with Heavenly Father through prayer, blessings that, frankly, we can’t really afford to be without. This is something I have learned because of prayer.

Contact Ryan Comer at rcomer@standard.net.