Photo supplied, Intellectual Reserve

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to go to Brigham Young University. A major reason was that having grown up in an area of the country where I was often the only member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in my classes at school, I wanted to be around people who shared my standards. I also had celestial motivation. I wanted to marry a covenant-keeping Latter-day Saint in the temple, and I felt like the best way I could ensure that happened was to attend a university filled with covenant-keeping Latter-day Saints. Seemed practical and logical to me.

My wife was similar. She also wanted to marry a covenant-keeping Latter-day Saint in the temple and that motivated her to want to attend BYU as well. Of course, BYU isn’t the only college where you can find a covenant-keeping Latter-day Saint, but I think it’s fair to say the odds of success go way up when you’re at a school literally owned by the church.

I wish my wife’s time on this earth was much longer than it turned out to be. It’s been almost six years since she passed away. It’s hard to imagine it’s been that long. Gratefully, I know that because of eternal marriage, our union doesn’t have to end with death. Jeffrey R. Holland, acting president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in the church, said it perfectly during his address at the general conference of the church in April when speaking about his wife’s passing.

“Should I prove worthy, our sealing means I can spend eternity with her,” he said.

Blessings that are sealed so that they last forever — with a focus on eternal marriage — were the focus of remarks by Elder Matthew L. Carpenter of the Seventy in the church in his April general conference address.

Ryan Comer, Standard-Examiner

He started by sharing a personal anecdote and connecting it to his topic.

“As a young boy, I loved fresh, ripe peaches,” he said. “To this day, the idea of biting into a juicy, ripe peach with its tangy flavor makes my mouth water. When fully matured peaches are picked, they last two to four days before they spoil. I have fond memories of joining with my mother and my siblings in our kitchen as we would preserve harvested peaches for the coming winter by sealing them in bottles. If we preserved the peaches correctly, this delicious fruit would last several years, not just two to four days. If properly prepared and heated, the fruit is preserved until the seal is broken.

“Christ directed us to ‘go and bring forth fruit, … that your fruit should remain.’ (John 15:16) But he wasn’t speaking about peaches. He was talking about God’s blessings to his children. If we make and keep covenants with God, the blessings associated with our covenants can extend beyond this life and be sealed upon us, or preserved, forever, becoming fruit that remains for all eternity.

“The Holy Ghost, in his divine role as the holy spirit of promise, will seal each ordinance upon those who are faithful to their covenants so that it will be valid after mortality. (Doctrine and Covenants 132:7) Having the Holy Ghost seal our ordinances is essential if we want to have the promised blessings for all eternity, becoming fruit that remains.”

Elder Carpenter continued:

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“This is particularly important if we want to be exalted. (Doctrine and Covenants 76:53) As President Russell M. Nelson has taught, we should ‘begin with the end in mind. … Surely, for each of us, the ‘end’ we would most like to achieve is to live forever with our families in an exalted state where we will be in the presence of God, our Heavenly Father, and his son Jesus Christ.’ (Doctrine and Covenants 132:7) President Nelson has also said: ‘Celestial marriage is a pivotal part of preparation for eternal life. It requires one to be married to the right person, in the right place, by the right authority and to obey that sacred covenant faithfully. Then one may be assured of exaltation in the celestial kingdom of God.’

“What are the blessings of exaltation? They include dwelling in God’s presence for eternity together as husband and wife, inheriting ‘thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, … and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever,’ (Doctrine and Covenants 132:19) receiving all that God the Father has. (Doctrine and Covenants 84:38)

“The Lord revealed through Joseph Smith:

“‘In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees;

“‘And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage];

“‘And if he does not, he cannot obtain it.

“‘He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.” (Doctrine and Covenants 131:1-4)

“We learn here that one can be in the celestial kingdom, or dwell in the presence of God, and be single. But to be exalted in the highest degree of the celestial kingdom, one must enter into marriage by the proper authority and then be true to the covenants made in that marriage. As we are faithful to these covenants, the holy spirit of promise can seal our marriage covenant. (Doctrine and Covenants 132:19-20) Such sealed blessings become fruit that remains.”

Those words align with what President Nelson once said regarding salvation and exaltation. In an April 2008 general conference address, he said: “This life is the time to prepare for salvation and exaltation. (Alma 12:24) In God’s eternal plan, salvation is an individual matter; exaltation is a family matter.”

After reading that, can you understand why marriage between a man and a woman is such a point of emphasis in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? Exaltation in the celestial kingdom is simply not possible without it.

During the October 2018 general conference, Dallin H. Oaks, current first counselor in the First Presidency of the church, said:

“Under the great plan of our loving creator, the mission of his restored church is to help the children of God achieve the supernal blessing of exaltation in the celestial kingdom, which can be attained only through an eternal marriage between a man and a woman (see Doctrine and Covenants 131:1-3). We affirm the Lord’s teachings that ‘gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal and eternal identity and purpose’ and that ‘marriage between man and woman is essential to his eternal plan.” (See “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”)

In an October 1993 general conference, he said:

“We are taught that marriage is necessary for the accomplishment of God’s plan, to provide the approved setting for mortal birth and to prepare family members for eternal life. ‘Marriage is ordained of God unto man,’ the Lord said, ‘that the earth might answer the end of its creation; and that it might be filled with the measure of man, according to his creation before the world was made.'” (Doctrine and Covenants 49:15-17)

He continued:

“Our concept of marriage is motivated by revealed truth, not by worldly sociology. The apostle Paul taught ‘neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.’ (1 Corinthians 11:11). President Spencer W. Kimball explained, ‘Without proper and successful marriage, one will never be exalted.'”

Russell M. Nelson, president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, said the following during a devotional at BYU in 2019:

“In recent years, many countries, including the United States, have legalized same-sex marriage. As members of the church, we respect the laws of the land and abide by them, including civil marriage. The truth is, however, that in the beginning — in the beginning — marriage was ordained by God! And to this day it is defined by him as being between a man and a woman. God has not changed his definition of marriage.”

I’ve often found myself thinking, I wish those who take issue with the church because of its position on marriage could understand that it’s not about depriving people of happiness and fulfillment, which church leaders so often are accused of doing. It’s exactly the opposite. Church leaders want everyone to progress toward exaltation because that is where perfect happiness and fulfillment comes. They simply want all of us to have “fruit that remains.”

Elder Carpenter then answered the question of “what is required to faithfully keep the new and everlasting covenant of marriage?”

He said:

“President Russell M. Nelson has taught there are two types of bonds when we enter into this eternal marriage covenant: a lateral bond between husband and wife and a vertical bond with God. To have the blessings of exaltation sealed upon us and remain after this life, we must be true to both the lateral and the vertical bonds of the covenant.

“To keep the lateral bond with your spouse, God has counseled us to ‘love [your] wife [or husband] with all [your] heart, and … cleave unto her [or him] and none else.’ (Doctrine and Covenants 42:22) For those who are married, to cleave unto her or him and none else means you counsel together in love, you love and care for each other, you prioritize time with your spouse over outside interests and you call upon God to help you overcome your weaknesses. It also means there is no emotional intimacy or sexual relations of any kind outside of your marriage, including flirting or dating, and there is no pornography, which engenders lust. (Doctrine and Covenants 42:22-24)

“To keep the lateral bond in the covenant, each partner must desire to be in the marriage. President Dallin H. Oaks recently taught: ‘We also know that he [God] will force no one into a sealing relationship against his or her will. The blessings of a sealed relationship are assured for all who keep their covenants but never by forcing a sealed relationship on another person who is unworthy or unwilling.’

“What is the vertical bond referred to by President Nelson? The vertical bond is one we make with God.

“To keep the vertical bond with God, we are true to the temple covenants we have made regarding the laws of obedience, sacrifice, the gospel, chastity and consecration. We also covenant with God to receive our eternal companion and to be a righteous spouse and parent. As we keep the vertical bond, we qualify for the blessings of being part of the family of God through the Abrahamic covenant, including the blessings of posterity, the gospel and the priesthood. (Doctrine and Covenants 86:8-11; Doctrine and Covenants 113:8; Abraham 2:9-11) These blessings are also the fruit that remains.”

Imagine how much following this counsel would bless people in their marriages? Imagine if all married couples were determined to keep the lateral bond with each other and the vertical bond with God.

Having discussed all this regarding the importance of marriage and, specifically, eternal marriage, there are a number of questions that could be asked. Elder Carpenter addressed some of them.

“While we hope that all who enter into the new and everlasting covenant remain true and have the blessings sealed upon them for all eternity, sometimes that ideal seems beyond our reach. Throughout my ministry I have encountered members who make and keep covenants while their spouse does not. There are also those who are single, never having the opportunity to marry in mortality. And there are those who are not faithful in their marriage covenants. What happens to individuals in each of these circumstances?

“If you remain faithful to the covenants you made when you were endowed, you will receive the personal blessings promised to you in the endowment even if your spouse has broken his or her covenants or withdrawn from the marriage. If you were sealed and later divorced, and if your sealing is not canceled, the personal blessings of that sealing remain in effect for you if you remain faithful.

“Sometimes, due to feelings of betrayal and very real hurt, a faithful spouse may want to cancel their sealing with their unfaithful spouse to get as far away as possible from them, both on earth and for eternity. If you are concerned that you will somehow be tied to an unrepentant former spouse, remember, you will not! God will not require anyone to remain in a sealed relationship throughout eternity against his or her will. Heavenly Father will ensure that we will receive every blessing that our desires and choices allow.

“However, if a cancellation of sealing is desired, agency is respected. Certain procedures can be followed. But this should not be done casually! The First Presidency holds the keys to bind on earth and in heaven. Once a sealing cancellation has been granted by the First Presidency, the blessings related to that sealing are no longer in force; they are canceled both laterally and vertically. It is important to understand that to receive the blessings of exaltation, we must demonstrate that we are willing to enter into and faithfully keep this new and everlasting covenant, either in this life or the next.

“For those who are single members of the church, please remember that ‘in the Lord’s own way and time, no blessings will be withheld from his faithful saints. The Lord will judge and reward each individual according to heartfelt [desires] as well as deed.’

“If you have not remained faithful to temple covenants, is there hope? Yes! The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of hope. That hope comes through Jesus Christ with sincere repentance and obediently following Christ’s teachings. I have seen individuals make grave mistakes, breaking sacred covenants. On a regular basis, I see those who sincerely repent, are forgiven and return to the covenant path. If you have broken your temple covenants, I urge you to turn to Jesus Christ, counsel with your bishop, repent and open your soul to the mighty healing power available because of the atonement of Jesus Christ.”

When it comes to sealings, there is much we don’t understand. I recently saw a video on YouTube that involved President Holland speaking to a gathering of women in the church. I’m not sure how long ago it was, but in the video, President Holland discussed unique sealing situations that people face, including one situation that involved a woman wanting to remarry after the passing of her husband, who she was sealed to.

“And you say, ‘well, who’s she going to be with for eternity?’ Well, I don’t have the slightest idea,” President Holland said to laughter. “But God does. … God has all of these things to work out.”

After speaking of another unique situation involving sealings, he said to trust God’s goodness.

“When there are questions to which we do not know the answer, then you trust in what you do know, and what you do know is God is good, and fair, and just and merciful. … God will figure it out. Look, he has to bring the flowers up every spring. He has to keep the planets in their orbit and the solar system working. If he can do that, he can take care of your family.”

Concluding his talk, Elder Carpenter said:

“Brothers and sisters, our loving Heavenly Father has given us covenants so that we may have access to all that he has in store for us. These sacred blessings from God are more delicious than any earthly fruit. They can be preserved for us forever, becoming fruit that remains, as we are faithful to our covenants.

“I testify that God has restored the authority to bind on earth and in heaven. That authority is found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is held by the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve and is exercised under the direction of President Russell M. Nelson. Those who enter into the new and everlasting covenant of marriage and keep that covenant can become perfected and eventually receive the fulness of the glory of the Father, regardless of circumstances beyond their control. (John 15:16)

“These promised blessings appertaining to our covenants can be sealed upon us by the holy spirit of promise and become fruit that remains forever and ever.”

Contact Ryan Comer at rcomer@standard.net. Follow him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rbcomer8388.

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